What is Cohabitating?

[Cheryl Staal]

Reader Question: What does the Bible say about cohabitating.

Let’s look at what the definition found in Wikipedia (on-line dictionary) says about cohabitation; so we are on common ground when we use the word cohabitation.

Cohabitation is an emotionally- and physically-intimate relationship which includes a common living place and which exists without legal or religious sanction. (living together for whatever the reason)

I am assuming that you are referring to 2 people that are not married and are not blood relatives. So I will pursue your question from this perspective. Two adults, not related, living together in the same house with physical intimacy (sex).

Saying all that, let’s go to the Word of God, the absolute truth in our lives, to see what He says about us cohabitating. “Do not commit adultery” Exodus 20:14, and “Flee sexual immorality” I Corinthians 6:18. That is, do not have sex with someone who is not your spouse. Obedience to our Heavenly Father requires that sex be reserved for our spouse.

When God made man, His desire was to fellowship with us. He made man and woman to fellowship with Him and with each other. God blessed us with the covenant of marriage. Inside the covenant of marriage he blessed us with sex! Sex was designed by our Heavenly Father to be in the confines of 2 married people; man and woman.

Sex was intended for 2 things. To produce Godly seed (children) and to bring pleasure and intimacy between the husband and wife. (something that no other person could experience with another except their spouse.) Having sex outside of marriage would be violating God’s desire for sex inside of marriage and would be sin in God’s eyes. As believers in Jesus Christ our desire would be as His was to please the Father. John 14:15 “If you love Me, keep My commandments. We prove to Him our devotion by our obedience to His word.

But what if you are in love and living together? I would encourage you to go to I Corinthians 13. God describes love as being patient. It does not seek to please self, nor delights in evil but it always hopes. True love would be patient in waiting for the proper time for sex. It would be kind to future spouses by not violating the other’s future marital intimacy. True love would be unselfish in placing God's desires and the needs of others above itself. It would not force another to disobey God. Being in love should not be our reason for sex prior to marriage. But it should be one of the greatest reasons to run from it...

So what if you already have done “it” (God already knows! and He still loves you!) To get back into right relationship with God; tell God all of your sin, admit it to Him and repent (stop the sin that you are doing and turn away from it.). I John 1:9 it says if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
I would suggest separating from living with the other person. This will help to avoid future temptation. (Falling back into the sin of sex outside of marriage.) Explain to the other person that Jesus would like you to keep yourself physically pure for when you are married. Pray that God would keep you strong, meditate on the Word of God and surround yourself with people of like faith that believe in preserving the sanctity of sex inside of marriage. Hope this helps! Be Blessed without measure!