Dirty Laundry

by Kirsti Haverdink

The other day as I was doing the laundry, I found myself getting frustrated with that fact that laundry is one of those chores that is never completed. I mean, I could have every stitch of clothing washed and put away, but in reality, unless I do the laundry naked, it isn’t completely finished because the clothes that I am wearing aren’t really "clean". As I stood in the midst of my laundry, deciding that instead of being frustrated and selfish I would be thankful for the fact that I had an abundance of clothes to wear and that I didn’t have to wash them by hand, the Holy Spirit reminded me that most of the frustration I felt in life had to do with the fact that I came to the Father wearing my own dirty clothes, my own works of righteousness. When I was frustrated, it was often a result of knowing the truth but not living it, because I didn’t feel "good enough" to deserve it. So, I’d try to earn it. But what the Father wanted was for me to come to Him "naked".

This wasn’t the first time that God has told me this. Years ago I felt stuck , unable to move on in my life and in my relationship with God. I was saved, active in ministry, yet frustrated. One day while I was reading the Bible, the Lord directed me to Zechariah 3:3.

“Now Joshua was dressed in filthy clothes as he stood before the angel. The angel said to those standing before him, ‘Take off his filthy clothes.’ Then he said to Joshua, ‘See, I have taken away your sin, and I will put rich garments on you.’ Then I said, ’Put a clean turban on his head.’ So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him, while the angel of the Lord stood by.”

Upon reading this text I immediately saw a woman, a daughter of God, standing before Him in dirty robes, her face full of sorrow. She loved God, but her heart was broken. The robes she wore were garments she had made herself, ones she thought would make her beautiful and joyful, garments that would protect and keep her safe. But they hadn’t accomplished any of those things. They were filthy. I then saw the hand of God reaching out to lift the filthy robes off of her but she cowered and clung to the robes, afraid to be exposed, afraid to be naked before her Creator. She felt dirty and untouchable and feared that once God saw beneath the robes He would declare her unclean and unlovable. She’d still be His daughter but kept at a distance. The truth was, she had clothed herself in shame: that painful emotion that is caused by an awareness of guilt and inadequacy from the sins she had committed and from sins committed against her. She had chosen to believe the lie of shame that said she was unworthy of everything God had for her. She believed that the Father’s rich garments could never be put on her because her own robes were "just too dirty for God to take off".

The truth that God showed me that day was that I was just like this woman, clinging to shame. It was then that God asked me, “Will you let Me love you completely? Will you let Me replace your filthy robes with royal ones? Will you allow yourself to be vulnerable, exposed, naked before Me?” I froze. Of course I wanted those things, but I had trusted in myself and my righteous acts for so long that I was terrified to trust in God. I could feel myself clinging and hiding behind my dirty robes yet longing to let go and let God dress me. As scared as I was I chose to let go of my dirty clothes and I stood exposed, naked before my Creator. Then an amazing thing happened. My eyes were opened and I began to see that some of my beliefs were lies. But more importantly, I began to see the incredible love God had for me. Like Joshua, God was placing a clean turban on my head and renewing my mind.

The truth is, God dressed me in rich robes the very moment I acknowledged and received Jesus as my Lord and Savior. However, since then, with every Godly truth that I choose to take hold of, God continues to clothe me and accents these beautiful garments He placed on me at salvation. Shame is a liar, a form of pride that had kept me frustrated and distrustful of God. But God is greater than shame. He longs to clothe all of His daughters in the richest of garments and lavish His love on us. For me, this realization started when I chose to expose the shame in my life, when I began renewing my mind and answered the call to come to the Father naked. Do you hear His call to you? You are safe with your Heavenly Father. Won't you answer His call?