I Wish I Had Known....

by Robin Day

People have often asked me to give them advice on how to be an effective leader. There are a lot of things that could be said when asked this type of question, but the three main things I advise leaders to do in order to be effective are: 1) don’t forget to pray for yourself; 2) remember that you don’t have all the answers, and that’s alright; and 3) don’t micromanage.

God has given each of us, as leaders, a vision and we are pursuing it with all of our hearts. I happen to be a missionary in Spain; you may be leading a Bible study, sharing your faith in the work place, or singing in the choir. However you are carrying out the vision God has placed in your heart, let one thing always center you: Jesus’ presence. I pray that we would never let our hearts get distracted, replacing our personal quiet time and our relationship with God, by the work that we are doing.

A pastor once told me that he woke up one morning and realized it had been over a year since he actually spent time with God. Don’t get me wrong, he prayed every day, but his prayer time had always been filled by praying for other people or for the ministry. He prayed for God to help him write his sermons, for his staff, his congregation, for the building fund, the budget, for the youth group, etc… All of his time was spent praying for his work; in the meantime he was unaware that he was losing his personal relationship with God.

It’s easy to throw ourselves into the work and let our relationship slide. After being in the ministry a while, you may find that your entire prayer life is filled with things concerning work, the ministry, the vision, the projects, the people... I’m giving you a heads up… don’t let this happen to you. It takes a determined effort on our part to set time aside every day to sit quietly with God where it’s just the two of us alone together; time where we don’t pray for our work, our vision, or our projects; not even for other people. I agree, there are so many things that need prayer, but Jesus put it into perspective when he said, “The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me.” (Matthew 26:11 NIV) There will always be work to be done, people and situations that will need prayer, but if we lose our personal relationship with God what’s the point? Keep your personal relationship with God strong.

Secondly, remember that you don’t have all the answers, and that’s alright. There are a ton of questions that I don’t have the answers for and I have no fear of telling someone that I just don’t know. Actually, I find strength in the fact that I don’t have all the answers. When a person comes to you with a lot of unanswerable questions, it’s often an indicator that this person may be going through a really difficult time in their life. Many times, those people are not truly looking for concrete answers to their questions, rather they are looking for listeners, and they are looking for the ministry of presence, for love and for grace. They are hoping someone will be there for them, in good times as well as in bad times. If we are too busy trying to fill the silence with words, we miss really helping them. We may lose an opportunity to give them the balm that their heart needs.

A lot of people look to Christian leaders for vision, strength and answers. I lead by admitting to people that I cannot provide them with the vision, strength and answers they are looking for, only God can do that. I don’t think it’s fair to the people I’m leading if I let them depend on me for the things they should be going to God for. First, I will surely let them down at some point and secondly, they will only grow and develop as long as their relationship with God is strong. “Follow me as I follow Christ,” that’s what Paul said. Just because I am a leader in the Church does not mean that I have arrived at some special place that gives me insight into every situation. Instead of looking to me for the answers I let the person know that we can walk together for a while and see if we can figure some stuff out along the way. “Follow me while I follow Christ,” sometimes that’s the only answer I have.

My final piece of advice is this: don’t micromanage. Allow people to make mistakes. We need to leave room for people to make mistakes. Let people do the tasks you have given them to do and let them do it with their own flavor, or style, even if it’s filled with flaws and mistakes. Truly allowing other people to contribute to a project only happens when you allow them to do it with their ideas and their abilities. Perhaps they aren’t doing things exactly the way you would do them, but if that is what you really want, then maybe you should be doing it yourself. If you want people to help, let them…hands off. Look at the big picture. Which is more important, a perfect banquet or a leader in the making? You are there as a guide, you cast the vision and set the tone, you help with the problems and follow up on their progress. Leaders are just what the title suggests…people who lead, not people who take over and do everything themselves. Always try and remember we are building people. It’s all about them and they are more important than the project.

Give the people you are leading the freedom to dive in and if they make a mistake, well…they will have learned what not to do the next time. Lead with grace, allow room for people to wiggle around a little, let them make mistakes. God gives me room for my many mistakes and allows me to try new things, knowing I’ll mess up a thing or two along the way. He’s always there to help me get back up, dust myself off again and then gives me another chance and to try again. It’s a pretty good system, actually. You know, God is smart that way…I learn more from making a mistake than I do from the thing I never tried doing because I wanted to do it perfectly the first time around. Try and create an environment where people can work in freedom, free from the fear of failure and you will be amazed at how wonderful everything will turn out.

So that’s my advice on leadership. Keep your own personal relationship with God strong; the person who takes that advice to heart would never falter. As a leader, keep in mind that it’s alright not to have all the answers. Teach people how to go to God for themselves. Finally, let people make mistakes. You can’t do everything yourself. Each person has a different approach to doing things, it may be different from how you would do it…but when every person adds their own flavor, it makes the project or ministry richer.

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