Building the Kingdom... Betty Southard

Interviewed by - Sandy Ohlman

Q - Your passion is Making a difference - Helping people make good choices in the changes and challenges of life. How did God lead you to this focus for ministry?

Betty - I believe that most of us really want our lives to count, to be significant, to make a difference in this world, and most particularly for the Lord. I certainly do. Over and over I have discovered that where we are in life is really a result of our choices. Now, I know that we also live in the backwash of other people's choices. However, while we can't control what happens TO us, we can control our reactions and attitudes. The Apostle Paul made it very clear in Phil. 1:12, that everything that had happened TO him, was used by God to work IN him, and in time God used the refining of his attitudes to work Through him. As I look at what is happening To me, I ask God to take that situation and use it to work In me what needs to be realized or refined in my attitudes, actions or reactions. As I allow Him to work In me, sooner or later He is able to use the lessons I have learned to work Through me thereby helping others avoid the mistakes I made along the way. To, In and Through have become passwords to my learning to make good choices. So I love to work with others to discover that whatever life throws at us, whether changes or challenges, God can and will use it to make us better people, and furthermore to help others along the way. This is my greatest passion.

Q - What have you found to be the greatest influencing factor(s) to making good choices?

Betty - Experience with making bad choices. Watching the consequences of bad choices. Along the way I have found some good principles that help me evaluate my choices. First I have to accept that there are some things I cannot change. Changing another person by any direct action of my own is one of them. I can only change my own attitudes and actions. That is tough for me because I am a choleric, controlling person and I do everything in my power to change others........to no avail usually.
Secondly I have had to learn to stop playing the blame game. That is blaming others for my situation in life. I once read that a person is NEVER a failure until they blame someone else. How many times do we blame others, God or even ourselves, and get stuck in victim mode.
Third, I need to learn to slam the door on self-pity. It is so easy to look around, compare your situation to someone else's (always someone with more than you have) and begin to feel sorry for ourselves. Ingrown eyeballs, focusing all our attention on me, myself & I. When I start to feel sorry for myself I mentally slap my face and say, shape up, Betty, develop an attitude of gratitude. I try to put into practice I Thes. 5:18, In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.

Keeping our eyes focused on the Lord, seeking His direction, spending time in His Word, these are the disciplines that will help us make good choices. But that, too, is a choice.

Q - What message do you bring to people who are navigating through the challenges of life?

Betty - That nothing in our life is wasted Good experiences, bad experiences, never give up. Hang on, God is often found at the end of our rope.
I also encourage people going through challenging times to look around and find someone whom you admire and trust who has been down the path your are traveling successfully and ask them for help and advice. You may also need to look for books, articles, seminars or professional help to guide you through the challenges. Never be ashamed to ask for help.

Q - From your experience, what are the most common mistakes made during the challenging seasons of life and how can a person 'stay the course'?

Betty - Pretending that everything is okay when in reality it is falling apart. Being afraid to tell others and ask for their help. Believing the lies that have been told to you (you are a failure, you will never amount to anything, you deserve what is happening to you, God can't forgive you, etc.) Another thing that I have found helpful is to understand the process that goes with every change we encounter in life. When challenges or changes are thrown at us, they usually begin with something ending. A marriage, a job, a relationship, financial problems, disappointments, even good things like moving, or kids leaving home. All these still entail an ending of how things were. That often throws us into confusion as we try to keep the status quo. But there is a process to every change, first we do have an ending of sorts, and eventually out of that ending will come a new beginning, but we often ignore or neglect the very important middle segment........the space between our dreams. I call this the twilight zone. It is the time we need to reassess what God might be saying to us. Do we need to readjust our priorities? It is a time of asking questions and learning to wait...........patiently if possible.

These in between periods can be some of the most fruitful times in our lives if we will allow God the time to work IN us. Then when we arrive at our new beginnings we will come with new energy, direction, insight and faith to know that all things really do work together for our good (Rom. 8:28)

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Mentors of Ministry is deeply grateful for the inspiration that Betty Southard has been to us. Her example of dedication to God and service to this generation has made her a prime example of why we are doing what we are doing. Her open hearted encouragement to us compelled us to run with the vision of God for M.O.M. And now, walking in the same heart, our prayer is that you too, will be encouraged to run with God and BUILD His Kingdom.