Me, Forgive?
By Dorie Meendering
It’s not my fault! Why do I have to forgive? They did it to me; I didn’t do anything. That’s not fair. I don’t know why it’s my responsibility to forgive when I didn’t do anything wrong. I just want to make them pay. I want them to “know” just how badly they hurt me. When they come crawling over broken glass on their stomachs, begging for forgiveness, I might release them.
Release whom? You could release yourself so much quicker if you weren’t waiting for an apology from them. You are the one that is bound. You have tied up yourself. You have taken your life into your own hands. That’s a hard way for you to respond. Don’t be so hard on yourself and continue in your pain. You can release yourself. Did you know that? It’s great to know that God made a plan for you to get free of anything that happens to you.
The key that unlocks this particular door is the key of forgiveness. Just slip the key into the lock and open the door by forgiving. Now walk through the open door. You just did it God’s way and made the scripture come true in your life that states, “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty (II Corinthians 3:17). You can free yourself.
How fun is it to be free? Just hand the person over to God for Him to convict, and you begin to do what I Peter 3:9 says and bless them. You will sense the weight lift as you begin blessing, and your emotions will change.
What are you magnifying? Are you focusing on the problem or on God? If you are focused on the problem, you just did it your way and not God’s way. You chose to forfeit His peace. Why would you do that? Sometimes, I believe, we have habits of how we deal with things and continue to ignore God’s excellent advice. Since He knows what works, why would you continue in the pain you are in, willingly? Matthew 18:34 says we get delivered to the tormentors when we refuse to forgive. It’s not fun to be tormented in our head and lives just because we choose not to do it God’s way. Let’s lay down our old habits and old thinking and let our minds be renewed to God’s way. He tells us the way of a transgressor is hard (Proverbs 13:15), so why do it a way that is not pleasing to Him and detrimental to us?
We choose! Think about it – you CHOOSE. In John 1:9 God says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” However, when you willfully choose not to forgive others, you cannot be forgiven. God warns us in the Lord’s Prayer that He will forgive us of our sins as we forgive others of their sins. He remains true to His promise.
Oops! Maybe you better take a look at your disobedience instead of what the other person did to you. You can go through the hurt, anger, and steps your emotions need to get well, but you must soon reckon with unforgiveness and do something with it. A touch from the Master will again set you free. It’s a supernatural touch. You forgive, and your relationship with God is restored. He promised it.
God tells you to forgive “lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices (II Corinthians 2:11).” Ask yourself, why would you trouble yourself by choosing not to forgive and release that person to God? Do you enjoy the feeling it gives you? Do you feel in control? Actually, you get out of control emotionally and physically when you harbor resentment and bitterness. Those are the facts. Don’t you think you have allowed Satan to be in the driver’s seat of your emotions long enough? Do it God’s way. Let it go!
Maybe God is waiting for you to forgive the wrong done to you so He can begin to work on that person. By refusing to forgive, He sees you joined to the person. God would rather have you joined to Him in a precious relationship. I believe He is saying, would you give up the hurt to walk with Me? How about releasing the person from your judgment? How about giving up the right to be hurt and the desire to return the hurt?
I heard a news broadcast of a girl who had been raped. Her arms had been cut off, and she was thrown out on the side of the road. The newsman asked her if she had forgiven her attacker. She answered yes; he has stolen enough of my life. Could that be your response today to your hurt? Would you let it go and forgive? Don’t let it destroy your past, present and future any longer. Will you hold a grudge a lifetime or are you WILLING to release it now and be free?
Don’t give place to the enemy in your life any longer. The results are too costly – separated from God; lost power in the Kingdom; forced to live in the imaginations of your past; feeling lonely, isolated, self-pity; blaming someone else for your misery and refusing to accept your own responsibility to deal it with it God’s way; opened for demonic forces to operate in your life because you’re on Satan’s ground; and giving your life, as a present, to the person who hurt you.
The choice is yours. You are free to pursue peace or hate or hurt. The only person you can change is yourself. You can’t change anyone else. But, you have the power to guard your own heart from unforgiveness (Proverbs 4:23). The pastor at a funeral once asked, do you value your soul? Do you nourish it? If you find what to do, will you do it? I ask, what’s in your soul?
Colossians 3:13 says, “…even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” Take care of you own heart for the sake of others. In Matthew 12:34 we read, “…for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” The golden rule says to love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31). May the overflow of your heart be God’s love and His kindness and compassion, flowing out to those around you.
